What if I don't Love My Body Right Now?
The thought of loving our body can feel overwhelming. When I was first introduced to the concept in college, it felt rebellious and relieving at the same time. Over the years as a clinician working with clients with disordered eating or body image issues, I discovered this concept didn’t seem applicable to everyone at every stage of life. Working through body image issues is intense work, and often involves phases ranging from body grief to body love, while pausing and normalizing every step in between. The following body image phrases have been more or less identified by professionals as a fluid progression through the body image journey.
Body Neutrality
We can call a truce. We can raise a white flag against the harmful comments we make about our body while also not trying to fake a sense of body love. This phase is the neutral ground where we might be exploring cessation of body-bashing rhetoric. We are learning to understand the worth of our human identity beyond our body, and learning that we can prioritize our physical and mental health irrespective of how we might feel about our body. In this phase, we can learn to take care of ourselves even if we are not fond of our appearance.
Body Acceptance
This is my body. We can say it. We can leave behind thoughts or ideals of how our body was or how we think it should be. We live in the here and now and work to honor contentment with our body. We give ourselves permission to take up space in the world that we live and move about in. We gently move away from the societal narrative that we need to change our outward appearance in order to have value. We know this concept may be difficult for those in the trans and non-binary community. We know our body will change over the lifespan, and we make peace with that, knowing that’s how it was designed.
Body Gratitude/Love
We might even begin to understand why we were created the way we are. My arms are able to embrace my family, pet my dog, or do “the wave” at a sporting event. My legs can propel me up a mountain to incredible views, and operate the gas pedal in my car getting me where I need to go. It is with a deep sense of gratitude we can appreciate these things, knowing that not everyone is given these opportunities. If you’re at this stage, maybe you can give yourself a warm embrace, thanking your body for all the incredible things it has done for you and every way it has sustained you. A little gratitude goes a long way!
Body Liberation
Encapsulating these concepts and going a bit deeper is body liberation. This is where we understand we are who we are and work to reject the pathologization of bodies and the oppression and stigma that comes with it. We can acknowledge how systems (such as healthcare) have favored concepts such as ableism, fatphobia, healthism, and racism just to name a few. We know that we are so much more than a body and we don’t allow external or internal messages to influence how we view or take care of our body. We can also shift a focus from ‘loving our body’ to being free in our body. It can help to take the pressure off focusing on physical aspects of our body and being free to exist in the one we have.
Maybe you’ve heard it before: your body is the least interesting thing about you! Yet, we spend so much time obsessing over it. When we think about all the influential people in this world, few to none of them are famous because of their bodies. Whether you are in recovery from an eating disorder, starting your healing journey with body image, or are born into this diet and weight-obsessed world, we will run the gamut of how we view ourselves. Take some time to understand where you are on your body image journey, and know that we all may swing back and forth between phases during our life. Be kind to yourself, normalizing the work it takes to view ourselves through a self-compassionate and self-respecting lens.